Throughout my life there have been many painful moments. Moments when someone has rested their hand on my arm, leant in and gently said that what happened to me is so unusual it’s not relevant. The many still faced expressions from professionals that I’ve had to sit with after disclosure and the way I was taught in isolation to be ashamed of myself because my past hadn’t left me.
Over time, perhaps to find some belonging, I started looking at and listening to the lives of others with lived experiences of childhood trauma and adversity. And within the differences of all of our stories, I started to find similarities.
The way in which what happens to us in our childhoods can so easily get dismissed or forgotten. Just fragments of our lives that we will always carry but are never to expose. And if what does happen becomes life limiting or life altering, in turn exposing us, it’s then the way we get treated because of what has happened.
The labelling, the diagnosing, missing at very best any validation of our pasts and at worst, the soul-destroying and dehumanising of our very being. The many cognitive ways meant to help us manage, either incredibly difficult to engage with or simply impossible. Then the victim blaming and consequences placed on our lives for not meeting expectations, while the world around us so often fails to acknowledge our suffering, adding more layers of trauma to what has gone before.
Like so many others, I too became curious. Curious though to find safer and kinder ways to heal the life limiting and life altering effects of childhood trauma and adversity, whilst asking what do those individuals actually need. What would and could still make a difference. And within my searching, I found some life changing answers.
What if there is an even more person centred approach to understanding childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences? What if we can meet another where they’re at, giving locus of control over their own life? What if there’s a way to humanise distress and heal without medication and diagnosis? And what if, no matter how long the past has been present, life trajectories can still be changed?
Backed up with the neuroscience of Dr Ron Ruden, and using my own awareness; Join me on this journey of adding more value to the conversations around childhood trauma and adversity, whilst bringing more hope, compassion and healing to the lives of others.